#BRO THEY ARE LIKE THE NEXT MURDER TIME TRIO!!!

[choppedsouldreamer]

Second piece of fanart is here and it has CSD's true chaos form, as well as some friends :O

of course my two good friends @glitchychara and @colatheartz69 are included in this, for a good while I was planning on drawing these three together since CSD had a spooky form in mind and Tyler had static in her eyes a lot, but didn't know if they had spooky designs so waited for more lore lol, but here ya go! I'm super happy with this and I hope you like the art my goobers, THE CORRUPT GANG IS BACK!!!

Close ups

Nightmare H4LL:

Puzzle Tyler:

This was so damn fun to draw with your unique designs and I hope you like CSD's revamp!!

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

Hello there! I absolutely loved the Fellswap bros headcannons!Thankkiess so much!

How about headcannons for the murder trio (poly) w/ a reader who is really pure-hearted but is hemophobic (has fear of blood), like reader faints at the sight of small amount of blood. How's the skeles gonna react to that?

Short answer, they freak out and killer thinks you died- long answer, *gives you headcannos*

Featuring: Ted, Dust and Killer.

Masterlist

Impressive, such a pure person dating three of the most wanted murders of the multiverse...what led you to this darling?

It didn't really take much time for these three to realize you have a severe ear of blood. Especially when they tend to get very messy.

Ted and Killer freak out the moment you fall to the ground, Dust tries to calm them down while also freaking internally.

When you finally wake up, Killer's rolled up like a croissant on your lap, Ted's arms wrapped around your waist, both sleeping while Dust's next to you, looking into your eyes, observing your every move.

"....you're okay carinõ? You fainted earlier..."

And that's how they discovered you are hemophobic-

Killer immediately spits out a "Why the fuck didn't you warn us sonner!?" "Maybe because you usually pass by Nightmare's castle before coming here, so I thought it wouldn't be important." "Of course it's important!! I thought you were dead when you fainted!"

Ted's just relieved your okay, and that you didn't faint because of lack of food, he doesn't want to be like he was long ago.

After that they make sure to pass by Nightmare's castle everytime to clean themselves up before coming home, they don't want to faint again, especially because of them.

Ted's always next to you in the kitchen, not only because he likes to both cook and you, also because he wants to stay far away from Dust's and Killer's discussions.

"Now we.... Just need the.... Pasta..."

Ted says, the sound of boiling water fills the room as your hands grab the pasta from the cabinet, pouring it on the pot and covering it with the lid.

"Do you hear something dear?"

"...No.. must be... Your imagination.."

Of course he did hear, but he's with you to escape it, not to face it, Ted simply does not have the patience to handle those two idiots fighting because of stupid reasons.

"CABRON ERA MI CHAQUETA FAVORITA!"

"Hehehe! Not my fault Dusty~"

Bones are thrown in Killer's direction, who simply throws knives in return.

He knows they're gonna be at it until dinner's ready, so why bother? Enjoy his company and ignore those two, good thing skeletons can't bleed, right?

[kkatastrophic]

Danganronpa V3 Chapter 3 Notes: (Daily/Deadly Life)

I've decided to put all my chp.3 notes on one document to keep them together for you guys to easily find! Here it is!

OMGGG THE STUDENT COUNCIL IS SO CUTE! (DRV3) Tsumugi, Tenko, Himiko, Angie, KEEBO!!! My respect for keebo has gone up, he's such a cutie!!!

TSUMUGI IS SO CUTE IN THAT PIC AHH I LOVE HER SMSMSMSMSMSM!!!

It's so sweet that Himiko is actually getting up and helping out! And it's cool Angie is teaching everybody about Atua... even though it's kinda creepy and fishy, it's nice that they're willing to learn.

Uh... Kaito? What's wrong bb, why are you so oddly quiet.... why do you have your hand up to your mouth like that?!

Bro I spent my first FTE with angie and gave her the red beret which she said she loved, but no further interactions were unlocked, and I didn't gain any friendship fragments? Anyway I did a couple more and...

Rare-Pair unlocked ahh moment

Bro are you kidding me I just spent time with Tenko and gave her something she liked and didn't get a fragment :( it's okay, I have another chapter with Angie, Tenko, Tsumugi, Himiko and all the people I want to spend free time with! (I hope...)

Training Trio... duo? Kaito flaked out? Erm what.

"Overthinking things and worrying about what I "need" to do... when I'm with Kaito, I feel like... all of that stuff just fades away." <- Oh, Shuichi I know what you are...

Wait... Kiyotaka Ishimaru is a god???

Tsumugi: "I've been wondering... does Atua have red eyes and hair as black as night?" <- KIYOTAKA??? HUH? HUH?

Angie: "Atua has whatever features you desire." <- Tsumugi and Taka good friends, canon event??? Pre-despair canon no clickbait?!

Tsumugi: "A red-eyed, black haired god.. Ah, what a cool God I have watching me!" <- heh fruity god "When can I meet him!? I want to meet him as soon as possible!" <- Oh... Uh about that...

(After Angie breaks the flashback light):

Angie you're acting too much like a protagonist here... the last person who tried to maintain peace in a Killing Game was Byakuya in SDR2...

Okay but Angies plan for a sacrifice is actually good, if you get somebody like Ryoma who didn't want to live, killing them in the time limit would be easy. She should've kept her plan among the Student Council, though. Because, now everybody knows her plan.

NVM She's reviving Rat-Ho Amami

Rate-Ho getting development caught in 4K? Will he come back and now what his talent is? EXCITING OMGGG!

Wait if Tenko's Atua is handsome like she says, does that make Atua a guy? <- Who Tenko likes?! Augh Tenko pls don't die, it's double murder time I reckon'-

Worrying about the next Victim with Nerd-Cat!:

ERM KAITO WHY ARE YOU ACTING ALL SUS ON ME MAN? DON'T GO DYING PLEASE POOKIE I LOVE YOUUU

Despair Disease coming back? Kaito bb is this what it is? KAITO DON'T HOLD IT IN, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME DUDE, PLEASE?! YOU WEREN'T AT TRAINING BB, DON'T GO OFF KILLING PEOPLE, DON'T DIE YOU HEAR ME DUDE?!

Fte with Kaito and Tsumugi:

KAITO LET ME HANG OUT WITH KAITO GAME, DON'T DO AN ISHIMARU ON ME BITCH LET ME HANG OUT WITH MOMOTA BEFORE HE GETS HIS ASS WHOOPED LET ME HANG OUT WITH KAITO RESS=adspoujwes I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH KAITO MO-

smoogie >:3

Are you fucking kidding me... I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE STUDENT COUNCIL LET ME HANG OUT WITH TSUMUGI TENKO AND ANGIE AUGHHHHH WHO DO I HANG OUT WITH NOW?!

Plan B: (FTEs)

@sleepy-pile-of-ashe told me to hang out with Kokichi this one time, so I'll do that for them :3

(*pulls a hammock out of my ass*) Here Kokichi!

And then I spent time with Maki, because I don't love her, but I want to love her, yk?

She's pretty chill, I feel bad for her. It must be a hard upbringing, but she's alr. :) I like her now after her first FTE.

Afterwards: "O-oh... hey bro perfect timing." Oh. Oh no. MFs who say "bro" don't come back from the KG the same. Oh no Kaito.

Training with Maki:

TENKO BB OMG HIII! ILYSM TENKO UR NOT BRAINWASHED HIIII OMG QWIAUOSDFHFJ

Angie is such a cutie though omg <3

OH MY GOD SHE MADE WAX STATUES OF THE DEAD STUDENTS WHAT THE FUCK THAT SCARED ME SO BAD???

I don't like Himiko x Tenko tho, because Himiko doesn't CARE about Tenko?? Tenko x Angie solos.

"Get mad! Get upset! Yell at me! Just fight back already! Do something!" Oh Tenko... (ishimondo flashbacks* "You are wrong! You have to be wrong! Mondo would never hurt a fly, he'd never murder anyone!" "Bro... bro what's wrong...?")

After trying to get Angie to stop the Seance with Tenko and Maki:

MAKI ROLL?! OMG THATS SO CUTE AHEFWUYAFHBSJWDNKHUEFDB

Oh! Kaito's just scared! Okay we good. (There's an underlying problem here guys, this isn't good but I'll take his fear of ghost stories into accountability.)

"Fear... why am I nervous...?" <- Every danganronpa protagonist before finding a body.

PLEASE NOT ANGIE PLEASE NOT ANGIE PLEASE NOT ANGIE PLEASE BE SOMEBODY ELSE, ANYBODY ELSE, PLEASE NOT ANGIE PLEASE NOT ANGIE

...

Body discovery #1:

ANGIE NO

Investigating/Seance:

I kinda forgot to document the investigation, but the seance is happening.

"Keep your chin up and live life facing forward! Survive with me and everyone else" ... Oh dear. Tenko. Please don't.

"Alright, Himiko! I'll see you later!

Kokichi: "I-I know... it wouldn't be funny if a body discovery announement happened during this."

Tenko: "Please don't jinx us!"

---

Tenko: "Understood. I will not say a word until the seance is over!"

Tenko: "Okay, everyone! I'll see you guys after the seance!"

HELL NO SHE DID A RANDY!!! (Scream)

Tenko rn: :,)

(BTW I turned off the bgm for the caged child seance stuff because it'd be a better atmosphere overall.)

---

THAT'S CREEPY BRO WHAT THE HELL?!

WHAT WAS THE *THUNK!* NOISE?!?!?!?

Kiyo: "Is the caged child... Angie Yonaga?"

What's...going on...?

Himiko: "What's wrong, why won't Angie answer?"

---

There's blood under the cage... there's blood.... oh no... oh no. OH NO. TENKO?

:(

---

KOKICHI WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING SCARED ME HOWD YOU GET ALL TJAT BLOOD ON YOU LIL BRO WHAT

---

Okay this is getting long, I'll reblog with the trial notes while I'm doing it. It's gonna be quiet without Angie and tenko but we will live. I'll avenge them :3

[insane4fandoms]

Psst.

Hey.

Remember that epilogue I teased a little while ago?

Well, it's finally done. I hope you enjoy it! (Read it when you have the spare time, of course. Remember your own projects and self-care 😉)

GIRL (or boy lmao) I WAS GOING TO READ IT THE MOMENT I GOT A NOTIFICATION BUT MY WORK HELD ME HOSTAGE

Anyways, just read it, and I gotta say I love your writing the more you post cuz it’s so good rrRRRAAHHH

My murder trio has returned!!! Azalea my beloved!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ Not Murdock showing a shy persona 😭 I can’t with him he’s so silly, also Caliban is me with a eating schedule, gotta track my calories

Also NESS WAS HERE LETS GOOO legit thought Caliban was going to eat him lmao I was worried 😨 He do be getting the weird ones at night.

My boy Penn and Caliban were prolly skinny twigs as kids, my brother has a high metabolism so I get it, he eats a whole feast and still is thin, ugh the envy 😔

Noooo my boys didn’t interact with one another (Ness was prolly standing there like: Wow, these people look familiar :D ?) Illinois being the absolute best friend anyone would ask, as usual lol (Bros goal fr)

I wonder what will happen next (no rush man I’ll wait)

Another awesome story as usual 😎 will update my story as well tomorrow look at us go

[the-kr8tor]

AAAA DRESSING UP HOBAT AS A COWBOY...pirate captain next pls cus ykykyk How in all of god's name do you overcook soup-? Daily Hobie HC! I really wanna write more hobat hcs but I dunno what.. Hobie is like a shark whenever you guys are going to the beach or pool. Any body of water he can go under, Hobie turns into a shark. A shark that grabs your ankle and dunks you underneath the water. It was hot in your universe, so you, Hobie, Pav, Miles and Gwen all decided to cool off by going to one of the calm beach-lakes nearby. The sand was hot, but the crystal clear and glistening water immediately drowned any heat that clung onto you guys from the sun. Everything was going well with playful splashes and laughter, wading a little deeper until the water came up to around shoulder height. However, after realizing everything was too quiet, you begin to notice how one by one, people are being dragged underwater. Hobie was under the water, holding his breath as he swam up behind Miles, his first victim. He grabbed the boy by his shoulders, instantly dunking him with a chuckle. Then Gwen..then Pavitr. Hobie goes for you last before you can turn to try swim off, tugging you back by your waist, dunking you below as the others resurface and laugh at each other's demise. The moment you spring up you lunge towards Hobie, dunking him in the process, your hands splayed on his chest as you shove him underneath the water, before seeing him pop up as he wipes away the water from his lashes. After more laughter and everyone ganging up on Hobie, Gwen eventually brings up the memory of playing 'mermaids', which everyone immediately jumps on board. Despite not having those mermaid tails, you all got into the roleplay fast, with betrayals and mermaid war against the self-proclaimed evil merman, Hobie Brown. He made himself the villain of the story, being more powerful than everyone else just for the plot's sake. After all, who wants to see the hero win? Bit by bit, the roleplay quickly turned into something of survival, trying to escape the villain as they slowly kill off more and more 'mermaids'. Finally, you were the last one to be killed. Still playing into the act, you look around frantically, calling out the names of your lost comrades as you tremble, knowing that the evil merman was lurking nearby. Hobie springs up in front of you, drawing out a loud gasp, before grabbing you by your swimsuit firmly and dunking you underneath the water, counting as a kill the moment you began to act limp. Despite the flawless and perfect acting, the minor thing to ruin the entire storyline was the way Hobie's stomach growled loudly with hunger. He rolls his eyes with feigned annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest as Hobie brings you out of the water, wiping away the water from your face for you as you laughed. Hobie leans towards you for a kiss, yet you playfully deny him, teasing Hobie about how he doesn't deserve to be rewarded for 'murder'. It wasn't long before you cave, though, almost immediately leaning towards him as well for a kiss. -🐦‍⬛

HOBAT AS A PIRATE?! AKSNWJZJWJS!!!!

Uh i forgor

Daily Hobie HC!

Hmmm maybe Hobat being a huge bat this time instead of a tiny fruit bat!

BEACH EPISODE!!!

Awww that sounds so fun!! The trio would be the best beach companion and ofc Hobie too!! He probably forgets to drink water and you have to remind him every time lol but he never forgets to put on sunblock! (Especially if he has to put it on you hehehhehe)

Bro the line of them getting dragged down one by one scared me bc i thought something was in the water HAHAHHAHAHA

I've never heard of that game before! My cousins and i used to play mr president in the water lol one of us would suddenly put our hand on our ear whenever we want to and the last person who does it gets splashed relentlessly

He's so kissy kissy muah muah 😘❤️❤️❤️ I'd cave to ngl

[munchkin1156]

so many wipsssssssssssssssss

The things we don't say (have I given enough)

Just try not to crash I KNOW WHAT THIS IS! I KNOW WHAT IT IS AND NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE KNOWLEDGE AHAHAHAH

Rescue me from my despair

"Did you just say the ENTIRE doughnut!?"

Your life will be the death of me

"Y'know, I used to think-" "You used to think? Well that sure explains a lot." (This one sounds like a fun time :3)

Yesss it is a loooott of wips...

The things we don't say (have I given enough) is a royal fic, with giant royal sbi, and human thief's bench trio. Tommy was adopted by the royals and he grew up there, but always felt like he was useless and worthless, being human in a castle of giants. So he runs away, without saying anything, only going to come back once he has their weight in gold. The way he gets the treasure is... Not exactly honourable, and it's how he meets Tubbo and Ranboo, also thiefs, and willing to help Tommy. They become friends quickly. Now, I'm not saying any more because I don't want to spoil anything (and cause you know what happens already), so let's move on to the next one.

Yes, I can see that you've guessed what Just try not to crash is, and yes I am forced to give you more info. Just try not to crash is a jornos submission fic for @i-am-beckyu, which miiight be Wilbur giving Tommy a remote control car, + shenanigans. This fic was supposed to contain pure fluff, and it still might, but I'm on g/t angst brainrot, so you can never be too sure >:] (They ended up naming the car Carl because of Techno, since they asked for a name)

(Edit: AAAHHHB I FORGOT RESCUE ME FROM MY DESPAIR IM SORRY I'LL ADD IT NOW DJDNFJRK)

Rescue me from my despair is with faerie Tommy and human Wilbur, with Techno and Phil appearing later... it's a oneshot about Wilbur and Tommy being (technically) brothers, but Wilbur is scared to tell Techno and Philza about Tommy, since faeries tend to lead people towards unspeakable dangers. The rhyme in the beginning goes so:

Don't listen when the fae calls,

Doesn't matter how much they coo,

You're safe if you ignore them,

But when you follow them, the dangers true.

Sooooo yeah, that might not be the best beings to befriend. So Wilbur gets hurt in the forest before Techno and Philza come to visit him, (they visit weekly, and Wilbur hides Tommy everytime) and Tommy has to convince the humans that no, he is NOT trying to murder them, he is trying to save Wilbur. (I do like this idea :])

"Did you just say the ENTIRE doughnut!?" Was a funny idea I had where a borrower attempted to borrow (yoink) an entire doughnut from under the humans nose, just because they could. Obviously they get caught, and shenanigans ensue.

Your life will be the death of me is a soulmate doll au, in which the borrower has the humans... Voodoo doll? Let's just go with that. Anyway, the borrower has the humans doll, borrower size of course, and see it as a lucky charm, taking it with them everywhere. It seems to work too! They can do a ton of risky things, super dangerous too, and get harmed without getting hurt! Super lucky, right? Well... the human is very concerned about their soulmate. They know that the soulmate will take the others pain when holding the doll, so they are very careful as to not hurt them. Apparently the soulmate does not know that, for they have gotten harmed multiple times. What on earth could they be doing!? And to top it all off, the house they just moved into seems to have mice. Just great. Now they need to go buy traps from the store...

Hehe, can you imagine what would happen when the human gets hurt from their own trap? I can >:)

"Y'know, I used to think-" "You used to think? Well that sure explains a lot." Was supposed to be for g/t July as banter, buuut I got sidetracked... Anyway, this was just a fluffy oneshot with a slight argument, with borrower Tommy and human Techno, because bedrock bros go brr.

Thank you for the ask!

[yourheartonfire]

"If you make me fight you now," the hero said without raising their head from where it rested on their backpack, "I will throw you off this mountain."

"Oh my god, [hero]!" singsonged the villain with their biggest, most shit-eating grin, kicking a brand new hiking boot up on a rock near the hero's head. "Fancy running into you up here!"

The hero groaned and flung an arm over their face. "It's daytime, asshole. What do you want?"

The villain tsked their tongue and swiped a granola bar from the hero's unprotected lunch, open on their lap. "All this suspicion. Can't a person enjoy a little fresh air and sunshine?"

They were mostly saying it to be obnoxious, but it was, in fact, quite lovely if you went in for this sort thing; wind rippling across grassy slopes, the sunshine sparkling off the city towers below, the sky studded with clouds fluffy enough to choke on. There was a steady trickle of day trippers and health nuts marching up and down the trail. One trio of bro-ish dudes had stopped higher up the slope and were blatantly checking the hero out, sniggering amongst themselves. The villain gave them a look over the top of their sunglasses. The bros quickly pretended to be looking elsewhere.

"Fine. Great. Whatever." The hero flapped their hand, as if at insect. "Go get your nature on. Don't let me stop you."

"God, this view!" The villain chomped down on the hero's granola bar. It was good. Hiking was hungry work. Next time they'd bring snacks. Not that there'd be a next time. "Look at that. There's City Hall, and there's the opera house, and... well, golly. Looks like you can just see over the walls and into [Supervillain]'s compound from this angle! What a bizarre coincidence."

The hero sat up, no longer playing at laziness "[Villain]..." they started.

"Hey!" A shadow fell. Both hero and villain snapped their heads up... to find the three hiker bros standing over them. "Hey," the biggest said again to the hero, chest puffed and thumb jabbed at villain. "This guy bothering you?"

The villain bared their teeth and opened their mouth - but the hero was faster. In a half second they were on their feet, their dealing-with-the-public smile on full blast. The lead dude-bro took a half step back.

"Oh you guys are so sweet to check on me," the hero gushed, even as they curled a hand over the villain's forearm possessively. "But we're actually, ah, work colleagues. Just giving each other a bit of friendly shit."

The dude's brow creased. "It seemed like-"

"I do appreciate y'all making sure everything's okay!" the hero sang. "Thank you!"

There was nothing for the bros to do with that but retreat with as much grace as the hero left them and some muttered "glad it's all okay then"s and "have a good one"s.

"Brutal takedown," the villain observed as the trio scurried out of sight. "Work colleagues?"

"Yeah, well." The hero took off their own sunglasses to look villain in the face. The wind whipped strands of hair across their freckled nose, across those brown eyes lit up gold. God, how had it never occurred to the villain before to wonder what hero looked like in the sun, standing on thebside of the mountain? "What are you here to do?" they asked quietly, hand still warm on the villain’s forearm.

The villain pushed their face into a smirk, pulled their arm away from hero's touch to shove their fists into their pockets. "To warn you. I figured out what you're up to and I'm a big dummy compared to [Supervillain]. She probably already knows. She's probably watching us right now."

"Hm." The hero gave villain a pointed up and down look. The villain tried not to gulp. "Did you buy an entire outfit, just to hike up a mountain to give me a warning?"

"Don't blame me for having style," the villain said, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle out of their TENCEL blend shirt before turning their feet back towards the trail down. "Anyway, you're welcome. Try not to get murdered, eh?"

"Hey, [Villain]!" the hero called. The villain stopped but did not turn. They didn't need to. The could feel hero's eyes on their back, could hear the smile in their voice. "I'll see you round, right? Can't let the new outfit go to waste."

"Never doing this again, thanks!" the villain called back, just as jaunty, and left quickly before they, like the dude-bros, flew too close to the sun and got burned for their trouble.

[oswaldcobblepotssugardaddy]

Jerome Valeska, Jervis Tetch, and Ed Nygma with a gn!witch!reader (I know the ask said fem but I didn’t really write it with a gender in mind)

Jerome Valeska

You guys first meet in the circus

You’re new and HES SO INTERESTED IN YOU BRO

but he doesn’t believe you at first

Until he throws you an apple and tells you to turn it into a frog as a joke AND YOU DO

Then he’s all over you, asking you to cast spells on people and turn stuff into other stuff.

Later on when you guys are dating and he’s out of the circus you guys are unstoppable.

You’re turning the GCPD’s guns into water guns and Jerome loves it.

If you aren’t really into violence and murdering, Jerome just has you help him by casting spells on people to slow them down so he can do whatever.

If you are into all that, you guys spend so much time thinking about the funniest way to kill someone.

He mostly uses your powers to play pranks on people though.

Jerome has endless questions about what you can do, how to cast spells, and how you got your powers.

He makes you wear a witch costume whenever you guys are committing crimes and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

But you guys are inseparable, no matter if you’re in Arkham, committing crimes, or just chilling, you guys are always together after you’re dating.

Jervis Tetch

YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT TOGETHER

You guys meet a little after Alice dies, he finds you practicing your spells and thinks it’s amazing.

He considers you his king/queen/lord of hearts.

After he finds you practicing your spells, he asks you to come to a special tea party

At the tea party, he asks questions about your spells and about being a witch.

He asks if you would like to work with him.

If you accept, you guys cause so much chaos.

If you deny, he’ll have to hypnotize you unless you can convince him otherwise.

So you’re pretty much stuck with him no matter what.

When Jervis is put into Arkham, you eventually find a spell to get him out, and you guys lay low in your house for a while.

This means tea parties everyday, a talking white rabbit, and him ranting about how much he loves you.

Until you guys finally decide to go back and commit more crime, of course.

He’s just confused on how this is possible

Ed’s seen a lot but never someone who can do actual spells

Asks you a riddle and when you get it wrong he mumbles “maybe next time make a spell that makes you smarter”

He doesn’t really believe in witchcraft and all that, so it takes a little convincing.

A long time after you guys are friends, he will eventually ask you for a spell that will bring back Kristen or Isabella.

When you tell him that you can’t do that, he almost breaks down in tears and you have to comfort him.

He realizes he’s in love with you when he looks up at you while you’re comforting him and you’re just trying to make him feel better.

You guys finally get together, and he seems so happy.

Ed gets you a green witches hat with a question mark on it.

If you put it on HE WILL BE SO HAPPY

You, him, and Oswald are the best villain trio

Idk i feel like your villain name would be the green witch

WHEN YOU BUY HIM STUFF YOU USE YOUR POWERS TO ADD A QUESTION MARK OR A RIDDLE INTO THE STUFF

He keeps it forever :)

And he buys you spell books as well as things you like

He doesn’t want to abuse your powers so he doesn’t try to get you to use them as much as everyone else.

He’s so careful with you bro its adorable

SORRY IF THIS WASNT THAT GREAT I WROTE THIS IN THE CAR WHILE HALF ASLEEP 😭

Request Here!

Tags: @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @gotham-swag @mazoga-the-dork @teh-vampire-bunny and one more it won’t let me tag

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles is so glad he can finally talk about playing Batman in The Long Halloween

Watch EW's Around the Table discussion with the cast and creators of DC's latest animated film about the Dark Knight.

One of the greatest Batman stories of all time is finally coming to the screen. Originally published as a 12-issue comic series by writer Jeph Loeb and artist Tim Sale, Batman: The Long Halloween is a yearlong murder mystery in which Gotham City's organized crime figures keep getting killed on holidays. Though Batman is trying to take down the mafia alongside his allies Commissioner Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, they don't support extrajudicial killings - especially when the witnesses they need to formulate a case against the crime bosses keep ending up among the dead.

Next week Warner Bros. will release Batman: The Long Halloween, Part One, the first of a two-part animated adaptation of the story. EW assembled a roundtable of actors Jensen Ackles (Batman) and Julie Nathanson (Gilda Dent), writer-producer Tim Sheridan, and supervising producer Butch Lukic to discuss their take on the classic tale.

One of the first topics that came up was the fact that The Long Halloween has been in development for years, but it was stalled for a time when Warner Bros. thought Matt Reeves might use the story for his live-action movie The Batman. When that film, starring Robert Pattinson as the Dark Knight, ultimately went a different direction, the animated version was able to proceed. That means those involved are finally able to talk about it - and Ackles is definitely ready to talk about Batman.

You may have seen Ackles dress up as the Dark Knight for Halloween 2019. As many fans wished, the actor is now playing Batman for real - and in one of the character's best story lines, no less.

"I come from a previous film where I voiced Red Hood," Ackles says. "So when I got the call for this, I assumed I would be reprising that role into whatever story these guys were adapting. But then I realized I'd gotten the upgrade! I don't think they even got the whole word 'Batman' out. They were like, 'Bat-' and I was like, yes!"

When it comes to the Halloween getup, Ackles admits, "I couldn't help myself." But it also came together organically.

"I had this wonderful crew person I was working with who hand-made costumes and cosplay stuff," Ackles says. "She didn't even know. She did a Red Hood version for me. She was like, 'I'm gonna do a Batman, would you be my mannequin?' And inside I was like, 'If you only knew!'"

Although the masculine trio of Batman, Dent, and Gordon are at the center of The Long Halloween, this adaptation also centers female characters. Nathanson's Gilda pokes holes in Harvey's heroism, while Catwoman (voiced by the late Naya Rivera) keeps Batman on his toes.

"There's a lot of, well, duality in this particular film," Nathanson says, in a tease to fans who know or suspect where The Long Halloween leads. "But I think the female characters also have their own two sides. I hold that as Gilda, having her own personal space and stuff she's dealing with, and her guardedness because of pain, mixed with her desire to connect with her husband. The women get to play with that duality and that strength as well."

Watch the video above for more. Batman: The Long Halloween, Part One releases digitally and on Blu-ray on June 22, with Part Two following later this summer.

ew.com/movies/jensen-ackles-talks-playing-batman-in-long-halloween/

[avaoracle]

Batfam Descriptions pt.1

Bruce "Because I'm Batman" Wayne: Has never moved on from his parents deaths, probably never will, copes by dressing up as a giant bat and pummeling people instead of just going to therapy. Smart as hell when it comes to everything but meaningful communication and how to handle interpersonal relationships, has the emotional bandwidth of a stale loaf of bread. -Is addicted to collecting dark haired orphans/near orphans/probably better off if one or both their parents were dead (lookin at you Talia) Loves all his kids- though he loves Cass most and it's totally obvious.

Dick "You can take the boy out of the circus but you can't take the circus out of the boy" Grayson: A guy who enjoys a pretty casual relationship with gravity for a guy who is technically only human. Pun master, 'third times a charm' older brother- turns out taking out bat daddy frustration on your first bro (largely from being fired from Robin and then replaced), and firing your second bro from Robin and then replacing him (with a demon child that tried to kill him) isn't something siblings appreciate, go figure- He cares though, one of the only bats at least somewhat capable of expressing his feelings with words and actions rather than just repressing them and brooding (Bruce).

Jason "Remember that time I died?" Todd: Angry zombie boy with daddy issues, mommy issues, batdaddy issues and crowbar issues...Really just issues, lots of issues, covers with inappropriate jokes about his own death that make everyone but Roy, Steph and Damien uncomfortable...actually mostly just Dick and Bruce are still bothered by it. Just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is, won't admit it but he still wants Bruce's approval but they're both to stubborn and communication challenged to actually have a productive conversation about their relationship and how to fix it-instead Jason antagonizes Bruce who misses that this is obviously Jason's cry for help/way of getting his attention because he just wants Bruce to love him- and instead somehow always manages to handle it in the worst way possible every single time (like beating him up).

Timothy "More espresso less depresso" Drake: One of the smartest people on the planet when it comes to everything but self care (and realizing his feelings for Kon...Like he tried to clone the guy back to life-that's not friendship love, that's love love). Literally runs on caffeine and spite, probably holds some world record for most shit done on the least amount of sleep. Terrifying badass master manipulator, could totally take over the world if he actually wanted to, probably has more contingency plans than even batman.

Cassandra *Stares directly into your soul* Cain-Wayne: Could beat up every member of the batfamily without even breaking a sweat and they all know it-literally one of the most skilled combatants on the planet. Is more fluent in body language than most people are in their native language. Is probably the only member of the batfam who actually knows how Bruce feels about her, really how he feels about all of them. Totally knows she's Bruce's favorite but isn't a Dick about it (pun fully intended- because before her he was the favorite and he was far less graceful about it)

Damien "You are all imbeciles" Wayne: Started out as a little turd with a massive superiority complex and mommy issues (and granddaddy issues) Is now somewhat less of a turd with worse mommy issues, batdaddy issues and a little less of a superiority complex...I think, he's had some humbling moments in the last few years, my favorite of which was when he started a fight with Jason and Jason kicked his ass into the next century. Still it's not fully his fault he is the way he is, he was raised as an assassin by an immortal lunatic and the world's worst mother (well she might have to arm wrestle Lady Shiva, Sheila Haywood and Shado for that title)

Duke "I'm part of this insanity too" Thomas: Only meta member of the batfam, which is a big deal. Patrols during the day because he's the only one not damaged enough to face sunlight. Probably the most well adjusted member of the family, maybe because he had good parents and didn't loose them until he was older than the others and thus did not spend his formative years with: a.Bruce-Wayne's-C-minus-Parenting, b.on the streets/with Batdad/ getting murdered because of birth mom's betrayal, c. alone in a mansion wayyyy to often by traveling parents/Bruce-Wayne's-D-minus-immediately-post-Jason's-death-parenting/coma-mom/finally-actively-parenting-basically-because-he's-paralyzed-and-his-wife-is-comatose-dad/the assassins trio, d.evil assassin dad who only had you to create the perfect solider and kept you from even learning to speak/Bruce-Wayne's-C-plus-Parenting/assassin mom who wants to kill you for being a better fighter than her, e.Talia, just everything about Talia/ Bruce-Wayne's-D-Plus-Parenting/Dick Grayson doing his best

[beigehearts]

Yandere adult trio: college AU These are drabbles for when they lose their mind and kill the people around you... and kidnaps you

These are going to be a little longer than usual but I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it (also im trying out the beta version of the new posting system so lemme know if anything is weird)

Sorry this took me forever bro

CW: murder, blood, physical abuse, alcohol

Hisoka

It's getting quite annoying to be completely honest. He just won't leave you alone, constantly flirting and making passes at you. And yet at the same time he makes fun of you and is actually very mean. It wasn't so bad in the beginning but this is just getting out of hand. You made sure he was aware of this. ---- He's looming over you as he corners you against the wall. You refuse to look up at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

While you aren't looking at him, you can feel him looking at you. You already know he has that annoying grin on his face that makes you want to punch him square in the nose.

He brushes his long fingers against your face, making a quiet humming noise. "Are you ready to give up my pet?"

You ignore his words and slap his hand away from your face. "I need to get to class, move Hisoka."

He frowns though you aren't looking at his face. He opens his mouth to say something when someone from behind him calls out to you. "Hey y/n! Are you okay?"

She walks towards you but before she can get involved you shove the man away and huff. What a nuisance. You turn towards him once you're standing next to your friend and glare at him.

"Leave me alone. It's annoying and it's scaring people. Got it?" Before he can respond you turn on your heels and drag your friend down the hall by her wrist just hoping to put distance between the two of you. ---- You're pretty sure you made it clear that you don't want him near you anymore. But by now you know he doesn't give up so easily. One can only hope that he gets bored of you and finds someone else to bother.

You and your friends went out for brunch earlier, and all was well until Chelsea handed you something. She said that she found it in her bag but it was addressed to you, so you put it in your own bag.

You pour yourself a rum and coke and make yourself comfortable on the couch of your shared apartment. All of your roommates went out for drinks but you were too tired to go out.

After taking a sip of the sweet liquid in your glass, you examine the letter you were given earlier. It's a typical white envelope with your name written in pen. There's no address on it or return address so you assume it was just supposed to be handed to you.

You rip open the letter with your finger and pull out the singular loose leaf paper. It's folded in three sections so you pull it open. The handwriting is messy but in an aesthetic sort of way.

Dear y/n, I strongly suggest that you go to class 406B in the technical building tonight. Don't be late or you'll miss the whole party. 10:45 pm - see you then. I almost forgot, if you don't come I have some revealing pictures of you that I can share with anyone I wish to. XOXO

This is the strangest letter you've ever received. It's probably a prank by one of your roommates or friends. You've never sent nudes to anyone so obviously they're bluffing.

Though perhaps you should entertain your friends and go. Who knows, maybe there will be drinks. But you are tired... Maybe you'll just go to bed. You peek over to the time on your phone, it's 9:12 pm. Yeah, you'll just go to bed after you finish your drink.

'bzz' 'bzzz'

Who is texting you so late at night? You sit up and realize you fell asleep on the couch. You wipe the drool off of your face and grab your phone with distain for whoever woke you up.

It's a blocked number.

ur late

Late? Late for what? Your phone displays the time, 11:27 pm. Are your friends really this committed to their prank? They must be trying to get Tik Tok famous or some shit. Well you're awake now, you might as well head over there.

----

The moment you step into the building something seems off. If all of the lights including the emergency lights wasn't enough, the ground seems sticky. Though you can't bring yourself to use your phone flash light to see what it is.

Eventually you find the room 406B in the darkness. The door is closed and no lights are on in the room. It seems as if no one is inside. As you reach for the handle of the door, you notice something on the window of the door. You can barely make it out, but there's what looks like a hand print. You chuckle, this must be a prank.

Now feeling a little better, you open the door and step inside. It's too dark to see anything but you can make out some figures in the dark. It must be your friends thinking they're being sneaky.

You roll your eyes and look for the light switch, finding it and switching it on. You squint at the sudden light, and your eyes begin to focus. Which you wish they never did.

There is blood everywhere, on the ceiling, the windows, the floor, the tables... But that's not the most jarring part. Your friends are sitting in chairs, one of them sitting on the ground against the wall.

There is your friend Chelsea, sitting in a chair with her head tipped down. You can't even tell what color her clothes originally were, they're covered in red, a dark dark red. Next to her is Derick, he's sitting the same way except his head is tipped backwards. His eyes are wide and his face is left in permanent horror- expressing the brutality of his end. You can't bare to look anymore, you drop to your knees and cover your face with your hands.

You scream and scream until your voice is hoarse and throat is raw. You're left coughing while you are drowned by your own tears.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" A deep voice asks from in front of you.

You can't stop the flow of tears as you look up at this monster. He's also covered in blood, and some is splattered on his face. He wipes a thumb across his face in the blood, and brings it to his lips. Sobs rack your body, you can't even make sense of this.

Hisoka squats down so you're face to face and grips your jaw bone tightly in his hand. You can feel the now cold substance being rubbed against your jaw by his fingers and it makes you want to puke.

"I got tired of waiting for you." His grin is nauseating, forcing you to stop yourself from puking.

His nails dig into your skin, mixing your own blood with that of your friend's. He brings his face close to yours and in a gentle but menacing tone he croaks, "Let's stop this childish game, alright y/n?"

Illumi

It's easy to miss things when you're caught up with the rush of classes and friends and love. All of the parties and hangovers are enough to satisfy your needs for entertainment and drama in this boring life. If you didn't fill up your daily life with these acts, you would probably sleep every day away until you fell into a coma.

To put it short, you're a busy body. And busy bodies don't have time to stop and look around at what is happening. For example, how were you to notice the key under your doormat was missing, or how your dresser drawers were left slightly open when you know you closed them before leaving. Noticing these small things are definitely not on your agenda.

It's 10 am, Saturday, and you don't have any classes or work today. You're sitting at the kitchen bar, drinking coffee and chatting with your roommate. It isn't often that you have a free day, and sometimes it is nice to have even if you want to get moving. The sun is peeking through the curtains and the aroma of espresso beans is a delight. It's a bit chilly so you have a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. What a peaceful morn-

'BANG BANG'

Your roommate eyes you when someone bangs on the front door, already knowing the events that are about to take place. She rolls her eyes and stomps up the stairs to her room, not wanting to get involved. You always feel bad that your roommates have to listen to this but you're really not sure how to end it.

You take your last peaceful sip of coffee and call out, "Come in!"

Before you can even finish your sentence, he storms inside and slams the door behind him. Your boyfriend of course is mad about something you've done. He trudges towards you and moves the stool next to you out of the way, and leans towards you so his face is next to yours.

"Are you kidding me y/n?!" He yells in your ear, but you don't flinch because you're used to this.

He rips his phone from his pocket and shoves it in your face after pulling up a screenshot. It's a conversation between you and his friend.

"Can't you learn to shut your damn mouth? This is our business and you have no right to tell anyone about it!" He's practically seething with rage.

You take a last sip of coffee and set your mug down on the counter. You continue facing forward and not facing him. "It's not our business, it's yours. And I asked him if it was true that you were cheating on me." You turn your head towards him while grimacing and mutter, "Again."

Ah but you've just lighted a bomb with your words.

His face has gone red and he looks like he's about to explode. You begin wondering why you were ever attracted to him.

"Maybe if you weren't such a prude! I can't even kiss my girlfriend whenever I want, it's ridiculous. You know full well that you're so... so... Ugh! You know what? Fuck you!"

As quickly as he came, he runs out of the house, slamming the door once again.

You whisper to yourself, "Fuck you too."

God he's such a child, you don't even want to be with him anymore. But every time you decide to break up with him he suddenly becomes Mr.Perfect. "I'm so sorry." "I love you." "Let me make it up to you." And then he does make it up to you only to tear down all of his hard work.

----

It's been a few days since your big fight with your boyfriend. He hasn't talked to you at all but this isn't uncommon for him. You promised your roommates that you would break up with him, not just for yourself but for the sake of their peace and quiet.

You texted him a few times while you were at work but he left you on read. He's so petty. So you text him one last time.

Come 2 my place at 8 tonight, We need to talk

He answers immediately which surprises you.

Can't, flat tire Come to my place

It doesn't make a difference to you where it is so that's fine. You wonder if maybe he's come to terms with the fact this needs to end. Hopefully so. If there's one thing you want him to be mature about, it's this.

Your shift ends at 6:30pm. You drive home, shower, get dressed, eat something and get ready to leave.

You send one last text,

OMW

It's read immediately but there's no response. Well, it's not like you expected much from him anyway. You drive to his house at 7:45 pm, and arrive around 7:58 pm. All of the lights in his town house are on. He's a few years older than you so he has his own house due to somehow being able to hold down a job. With his anger issues it's hard to believe that he can hold onto anything. Damn, he really is an unattractive person isn't he?

You step out of your car and lock it. Now that you're out of the car you realize that it's very quiet. This is unusual for when you go to his house, normally you can hear music or the sound affects of a shitty video game. But it's silent. Maybe he's waiting for you? He must be taking this well.

You step up the creaky stairs of the house, and knock on the equally as creaky door. No response. Maybe he's sleeping? You peek into the mail box and take out the extra key for the house from it. But when you go to unlock the door, it's already unlocked. This is becoming very strange.

You push open the door and peer into the dark living room. It's not too dark that you can't make out the furniture in the darkness. You step inside and shut the door behind you, it's still quiet. Not quiet, absolutely and undeniably silent. You flick the light on and look around again, nothing seems out of place. It's messy, with empty beer cans and bottles on the ground per usual. The stains on his carpet remain untouched, including the vomit stain in the corner.

"Jay?" You call out into the still atmosphere. Nothing. Is he not home? That can't be, his car is in the driveway.

The sound of his old floor boards being stepped on echoes through the house. What the hell is he trying to pull? You look up the stairs, but it's only darker up there than it was down here. He must be drunk.

Each step you take up the stairs, your heart begins to pound faster. Something feels off, this doesn't feel right. This isn't like your boyfriend, he's simple, he wouldn't try scaring you like this. On the top step, you feel your shoe touch something soft. You lean down and pick it up, and raise it up to your face. A pair of thongs that definitely aren't yours. So that's what's happening. He couldn't even pull himself together for one night.

Your pounding heart is no longer caused by fear but anger. He's cheated too many times to count on your hands, but this time makes you angrier than you've ever been. He's never been in bed with another woman knowing that you were coming over. This is fucking ridiculous.

You stomp towards his room and kick the door open. It's dark but you can tell that there are two people in bed. Your vision has gone red, you've never been this angry in your life.

You don't bother turning the lights on, you storm over to his side of the bed and rip the covers off. Just barely you can make out a woman sleeping next to him. You grab his shoulder tightly and shake him violently to wake him up.

"Get the fuck up Jay! Get! Up!" He doesn't respond, you lean down and yell in his ear like he always does to you. "You're such a childish piece of shit!"

He still doesn't move or speak, for fuck's sake. You stomp back to the entrance of the room and flick on the light. You turn around and begin walking back towards the bed, when you're stopped in your tracks.

Everything is red, but it's not your vision anymore. The bed has been dyed red, and his naked body is covered in it. Your mouths falls open but no screams come out. The woman next to him is splayed out on the bed, naked as well. Covered in red. You look down at the hands that touched your boyfriend, they're also red.

You rush over to the bed and shake your boyfriend again.

"Jay? Jay! Can you hear me?" You put your ear to his chest but you don't hear anything. You put your finger under his nose but don't feel anything.

"Hey! Hey! Wake up! This isn't funny!" Tears stream down your face as you pull him to your chest, cradling him.

Your sobs make it hard to speak and your chest begins to hurt. "J-... Jay... This- isn't-" You gasp between each word, "Funny..."

It's only when you hear a noise coming from behind you that you stop to think about what's going on. It doesn't matter to you though, they could kill you too if they wished.

"People are strange." You turn your head to see where the voice is coming from.

It's someone you don't recognize, he's tall, pale, has long hair, and hypnotizing eyes. Your sobs cease for a moment and you hug your boyfriend tighter to you.

"All of that fighting... You were even coming here to break up with him and yet... You're sad that he's gone?" He makes his way towards you slowly, "I've done you a favor, haven't I?"

He looms over you but all you can do is stand there, frozen by fear.

The man grabs the back of your shirt and pulls you violently from Jay. You try to run back to him, but the man pulls you to him, hugging you tightly. No matter how much you flail in his grasp you can't get away from him. You're left sobbing into his shirt, your body limp in his arms.

"Why?" You manage to whisper.

He holds you to him with one arm and pets your hair with his other hand. "You were miserable. He was making you miserable."

He sighs and kisses the top of your head. What is going on?

"Come on, don't waste your energy on human garbage. I'm here, so it's fine." He states it so 'matter of fact'.

"Who?" Is all you can ask, unable to finish your question.

"I guess I haven't introduced myself yet. Illumi is my name." With ease, he grabs you by your shoulders and lifts your face up to his. "Your future husband."

Chrollo

What more could you ask for? You already have easy college classes, fun parties, a good part time job, great friends, and an amazing best friend. Tonight you're going to hang out with a bunch of friends and have drinks at one of their apartments. It's a pretty normal Thursday night, nothing odd about it.

You're waiting for your best friend to pick you up, he's always there to pick you up on the dot. If he doesn't come early that is. You shove all the essentials into your bag and hear a honk outside. Must be him.

But of course you're always tardy. You lace up your shoes and run out of the dorm room, tripping out of the building. He's watching as you stumble towards the car since one of your shoes is already unlaced. When you finally flop down in the passenger seat he shakes his head with a knowing smile.

"Oh y/n, will you ever be organized?" He asks with amusement.

You click your tongue and straighten out your clothes, "Don't ask such stupid questions."

He turns his body towards you as much as possible and pats his lap. You instinctively know what that means. You hike your foot up above the console and put your foot on his lap. He begins tying your shoe, his smile is unmoving. He's always smiling.

"Chrollo, you don't need to baby me." You roll your eyes and groan.

He laughs and pats your leg, signaling that he's done. "If not me then who?"

You swing your leg back over to your side and buckle up. The two of you hang out a lot. Since you're both going to the hangout tonight, you decided to car pool. But first you're going to go get the alcohol. Everyone has to bring something for everyone, that way you guys can get wasted with no qualms.

You plug your phone into the aux and play your shared playlist. The first song that comes on is "The Cult of Dionysus" by The Orion Experience. Something that he added.

Finally you feel like you can relax, it always feels that way around Chrollo. His presence is just, comforting, in every way. You feel like you can do anything, say anything, ask for anything. He's always there for you with no exceptions and honestly you think you may have feelings for him. But it's a question of are you confusing comfort and friendly affection for romanticism. It's just that he's so perfect, he doesn't have a single flaw. Not one that you've ever seen at least. You probably never will see one of his flaws.

You sink into the seat and sigh.

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, but quickly looks back at the road. "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing... Just, everything is good."

He knows you better than anyone, so it's an obvious lie when you say this. "But what?"

Anytime he calls you out, you surrender and tell him everything. "Everything is so great you know." He nods with your statement. "I go to a good school, have good friends, have a good job." This has been on your mind for quite some time.

"Something is missing, you know? The excitement, the... the..." You chuckle and turn towards him and put up jazz hands, "The pizzazz!"

He doesn't turn to look at you but you know he saw you when his smile widens. "I get that. Maybe you just need to step outside of your comfort zone. Do something different."

Do something different? Yeah, maybe that is what you need.

----

All eleven of you are sitting in a circle on the ground, drinking and playing never have I ever. You take a long drink of your Mike's hard lemonade, which is just something to get the night going.

Dina wipes hair from her face and smiles, "Okay okay my turn. So never have I ever.... Uhh." She pops up when she thinks of something, "Never have I ever jumped out of a window."

DJ leans forward and raises an eyebrow, "Okay what kind of window we talking? High up? First floor?"

Dina answers, "Any kind, any kind of window." The majority of you put a finger down which makes the group burst out in laughter.

Your friend Zoey finishes off her bottle and slams it down on the floor. "Let's play something else."

"Like what?" One of your friends ask.

Zoey thinks for a moment, "Like... Truth or dare, spin the bottle. Or maybe eleven minutes in heaven."

Dj interjects, "I think it's seven minutes in heaven, not eleven."

"Oh whatever DJ, they rhyme." Zoey spits back.

Lex answers, "Let's play seven minutes in heaven!"

Of course DJ huffs and rolls his eyes, "What are we? Middle schoolers?"

Guac (which is his nickname) speaks up, "Oh come on, are you shy DJ?"

Finally the quiet Chrollo sitting next to you says something, "I'm not really interested. Right y/n?" He looks at you to back him up.

The group coos at the two of you and someone says, "We get it, you got something going on. The game is just for fun, don't be so serious Chrollo."

Chrollo opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off, "Hey, you told me to do something different. Maybe this is the first step."

His face shows betrayal and you feel a squeeze in your heart.

He stands up and glares at the group, "Whatever." He storms out of the apartment, and everyone mumbles to each other. Chrollo has never acted like this so this is quite a shock to everyone.

In order not to kill the mood you speak up, "Alright, let's pull names out of a hat!"

All of you write down your names on a small piece of paper and put it in a baseball cap. Dina pulls two names out of the hat and of course makes it a dramatic event.

"Alright so first we have the most lovely of people..." She looks at the group like a teacher waiting for an answer from her class. "Gracie!" Everyone claps and she stands up in front of all of you, taking a bow.

Dina pats her thighs rapidly, "Drum roll please!" Everyone obeys her, "The next hot piece of ass is y/n!"

You stand up and curtsey, taking Gracie's hand and leading her to the closet. Dina stands in front of the closet once both of you are inside and grins, "Timer starts now kids." She shuts the door on you two and all of your friends cheer from outside.

Here comes the awkward part. It's too dark to see her expression but you already know she's blushing.

You lean towards her and in a low voice so no one else can hear say, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

She shakes her head, and you brush a hand through her dark coils. The both of you giggle when your finger gets stuck in her hair. She leans in for a kiss, but before your lips meet you're interrupted.

The front door is opened and slammed shut, you hear the lock click as well.

"Hey Chrollo, you feeling better?" "What are you doing?" "Holy shit, please, what are you doing?!" "Are you fucking crazy? This isn't funny!"

Something slams against the closet door and Gracie yelps.

"Whoa whoa, we can work something out." They sound desperate "Back up!" You hear a loud thump and then screams. "Grab him guys!" It sounds like people are running around, but soon the screams become not those of only fear but of pain. There are gargled pleas and pathetic whimpers for mercy.

You and Gracie hold each other, gripping onto one another for dear life.

Soon the screams, pleas, thuds, gurgling, all of it ends. The apartment goes quiet and you try to silence your heavy breathing.

There's a loud thud right in front of the closet and then the doors are opened abruptly. There Chrollo is, covered in blood, and you can see the bodies of your friends behind him. Before you can react, he pulls Gracie away from you, slams the doors closed and there's another thud.

Gracie's screams are blood curdling, screeches and cries for help. You try to open the doors but something is blocking it, keeping them closed. As her screams get louder you throw yourself against the doors, trying to push whatever is there out of the way.

Before you can even imagine of getting out, the screams fade out into whimpers, and into nothing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

You're given no time to think when the doors fly open and you're face to face with Chrollo. He's blocking out the light and his usually neat clothes are crumpled and bloody. You look down to his hands, a sledge hammer hangs from his fingers, dripping with your friend's blood.

"Ch-Chrollo... Please don't." You whisper.

The sledge hammer drops to the ground and he wraps his arms around you gently. "Oh y/n. I would never hurt you."

He's so gentle with you, so gentle. It almost makes you forget what just happened, because he feels like home. "Why? Why did you do this?"

He steps back and grabs your shoulders, he leans down so he's eye to eye with you. "They crossed a line, a line that should not be crossed."

You begin to speak but he grabs your cheeks with one hand and dawns his usual smile, "You don't need them. You have me." He kisses your squished lips as if it were normal. "Right y/n?"

Slowly you nod, you don't need them. If Chrollo says it, it must be true.

"Good girl."

[phoenixyfriend]

De-Aging Akatsuki feat. Team Taka, Indra, Ashura

I’ve vaguely talked about this before but it’s taking up so much space in the pinned post that I figured I should probably make a Concept Post so I can just link it the way I do the rest.

HERE WE GO.

As per usual, this was like 40% @firebirdeternal​.

One day, half of the Akatsuki wake up and go “Huh. We are now much younger than we were yesterday.”

The other half wake up and go “This is not where I was yesterday (which is really twenty years ago, but I do not know that). I shall scream.”

The cause: Ashura and Indra got drunk on Ghost Booze and went “hey, what if we just fucked with Uncle Zetsu’s plans so much that we delayed this entire mess, that would be hilarious, right?”

They then woke up the next morning and went “shit, did we just turn a bunch of international terrorists into children? Shit. SHIT.”

“Dad’s gonna be PISSED.”

Ashura and Indra technically achieved the goal of ‘fuck with Zetsu’s plans enough to delay Kaguya’s return’ but they don’t. Have a plan. For how to fix anything.

Kakuzu is responsible for keeping everything as a whole running, partly because ‘de-aged’ for him means dropping from the age of ninety-ish to forty-ish and nobody can even tell because he’s a living eldritch abomination. Kakuzu went from ‘old’ to ‘slightly less old.’

(Most of the fic is just him being an extremely unhappy babysitter who is mentally tallying up how much money he's going to charge these fuckers once they fix this.)

Half of them have amnesia and the other half are uhhhhhhhhhh useless.

Deidara remembers but is literally a toddler and screams every time Itachi tries to hold him. He has tiny chubby baby hands. There are mouths in those hands, sure, but he’s baby.

Sasori is physically a teenager, which would normally put him at semi-useful, except he’s 900% overwhelmed by every sense except sight.

Hidan, physically six, got arrested at the mall, and Kakuzu’s not bailing him out. Hidan remembers everything but is a font of bad decisions. Mostly I didn’t want to brainstorm what he’s doing so I figured I could just toss him in jail for trying to kill people in public.

Kisame is largely responsible for everyone that is either amnesiac or physically under the age of ten, because Kisame is... idk physically twelve? But he doesn’t have amnesia and he’s not dying of sensation like Sasori, so whoop-de-doo, you’re in charge! Kind of.

Zetsu is the only one completely unaffected, and is going after Orochimaru because he’s convinced it’s the snake’s fault (it’s not).

Zetsu is still Literally Old As Dirt

Zetsu is Sir Not Invited To This Party

Itachi and Obito don’t remember jackshit. Itachi is like Six. Obito is... fourteen? IDK. Post-Kannabi, pre-Rin.

The Ame trio are probably alive, or at least Nagato doesn’t have the pilot-a-corpse piercings so it’s ACTUALLY him and Konan walking around, and also do not remember jackshit. Puts them at 15 or so? Like. Mid-Jiraiya.

I’m erring on the side of all three being alive because I like any opportunity for Yahiko to be like “Dude, what the FUCK did you do when I died? Bro. This is kinda fucked up.”

On the other hand "Nagato, why do you have so many piercings? Why are you piloting Yahiko like--" "I DON'T KNOW."

Zetsu and Kakuzu: I don't know how but this is probably Orochimaru's fault.

Kakuzu wants to go hunt Orochimaru down himself but sends Zetsu instead because somebody needs to keep an eye on this mess

He can't just leave the kids unattended, he tries and they immediately got into the murder implements and those are expensive.

Kakuzu doesn't mind not being his own age again--dropping forty years just means his bones are slightly less creaky, and even that's not much because he's like 83% tentacles anyway--but the toddlers are annoying and MOST OF THE TEAM doesn't even remember being in Akatsuki? It's like Kakuzu and Sasori and Kisame that both have their memories AND the capability to Do Things, and Sasori barely counts. Even Pein and Konan don't remember. TOBI doesn't remember. Kakuzu’s ready to kill something.

“Orochimaru this is clearly your fault, if you were that desperate for more kids then just kidnap them like a normal nukenin, don't de-age these fuckers, do you know how ANNOYING it is?”

PSYCH it’s not

(It’s chakra ghosts.)

Sasori, Obito, and Itachi all arguing over who gets to Take Care Of Deidara.

Sasori because this is HIS dumbass partner, Obito because he's not sure WHY but he feels like this blonde toddler is a FRIEND, and Itachi because Surrogate Little Sibling.

Sasori 100% keeps forgetting to breathe on occasion because What Are Lungs Again?

Hidan is only mentioned in brief passing from TV news segments in the background about a 6 year old who attempted to shiv a police officer.

Like, he went missing and nobody gave a single shit. He can't die anyways, and being a smol has not IMPROVED his already lacking self control, let him be someone else's problem for a while.

Kakuzu's just like "Meh, he'll be fine." "Shouldn't we go find him?" "No. No we should not." "But--" "Kisame. No. Please let me NOT deal with that specific mess until I handle ALL OF THE OTHER MESSES."

"I'm pretty sure he's still immortal, he wouldn't be ranting about Jashin and stabbing people from that close if he WASN'T so just let him get it out of his system." "This--this isn't a TEMPER TANTRUM, he's trying--mostly failing--to slaughter an entire mall. Like. In the middle of Amegakure." "Let the Jounin handle it. Not my problem." "IT WILL BE ONCE PEIN REMEMBERS HE'S IN CHARGE OF YOU AND GETS PISSED THAT YOU LET HIDAN KILL HIS PEOPLE. AME IS OFF LIMITS, OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW THIS."

He keeps trying to murder people? But keeps forgetting he weighs less than a bag of cat food right now and so mostly just shanks ankles and then gets picked up and put in time out.

Time-out is jail.

That's the main reason Kakuzu is content to let the Ame Jounin handle it. They keep tossing this literal child into prison and trying to contact God And His Angel for like. Advice? Because this is weird? “We have an immortal six-year-old in custody and he keeps ranting about a Heretical Deity--because Pein is the true god--and also he kind of looks like one of those S-rank nukenin we're all supposed to ignore if we see them around?”

tbh they keep getting distracted by how Itachi and Obito are insistent on helping take care of baby Dei, who has to be gumming on a teething ring because that’s adorable and also really embarrassing.

Itachi is five years old and incredibly creepy and keeps following around after Obito because Family? He is family, yes? And also insisting on holding Deidara because if Itachi can't take care of bb Sasuke then he's going to find the closest Tiny Thing and hold them.

Obito is like. Just pre-Rin incident. He can walk and stuff but his body is half Hashirama cells and he's covered in scars but he is so amped to see Itachi and Make Friends and hi Yahiko is The Coolest Ever?

He's now running around being an incredibly Naruto older sibling to all the tiny murderers who are smaller than him. Obito is in a certain amount of pain but he is VERY HAPPY that he has, like, company that isn't A Decrepit And Megalomaniacal Uchiha Elder and Creepy Zetsu Clones. (Zetsu himself is very frustrated by this and cannot show it.)

Obito puts Deidara on his knee and bounces him and Deidara doesn't have the muscle control to TALK but he's internally seething like What the fuck? You're tolerable? Why aren't you this tolerable when I'm a Grown-Ass Adult?

Deidara retains his full personality but is also a lumpy potato and cannot express any of it.

Additional running gag: Baby Deidara keeps trying to make things blow up and keeps getting stopped by safety-conscious Obito who babyproofed the hideout. Obito doesn't realize AT ALL that Deidara is upset for "I want to blow shit up" reasons and not "I want to touch the pretty thing" reasons.

Itachi would absolutely find a Bingo Book that people are trying to keep away from The Members That Don't Remember. He finds his own entry. I’m not sure what he does about it. He’s five, so probably he goes to Obito and cries on him a bunch.

Obito has Mangekyo and has NO IDEA how he got it. - He sinks through the floor by accident at one point because nobody, like, thought to warn him that was a thing that could happen

"Hey guys, does anyone know why there's like hundreds of unconscious, naked, identical men in the basement? Asking for a friend."

Zetsu: Don't worry about it. Kakuzu: What the hell, we should absolutely worry about that, why are there hundreds of naked men in the basement? Are we feeding them? How much of the miscellaneous spending is being wasted on someone's weird harem fantasy?

Honestly though I'm really super enamored with "Itachi is super duper careful with Deidara and is Very Serious about babysitting and Kisame keeps sneaking pictures while Sasori like. Panics."

Sasori isn't used to emotions. Or adrenaline. Or stress hormones. Sasori is having a lot of trouble and not entirely useless, but very, very easily overwhelmed. He doesn't like showers because it's sensory hell but also the only people willing to help him out with the option of a sponge bath are Kisame and Obito and it's just. Hella awkward? Sasori is overwhelmed and spends most of his time asleep because it's Less.

He went from almost no bodily reactions straight back into puberty, he can't control this crap at all. He’s also trying to figure out if he has, like, allergies?

Itachi: I want to hold the baby. Deidara, the baby: [screams]

If Deidara is held by Obito or Itachi, he's screaming. Deidara is happiest with Sasori, will put up with the Ame trio or Kisame, but he Does Not Like the Uchiha, which is a pity because both of them love babysitting.

Deidara does eventually calm down a bit because neither of them actually REMEMBER pissing him off and also Itachi's like. Super? Sweet? In a creepy-little-fucker way, but.

Nagato takes the time to tell Kakuzu that there are ghosts following them all, actually, and their names are Indra and Ashura and they’re really sorry about this but they got drunk on Ghost Sake and accidentally turned all his teammates into babies, whoops, sorry about that, they can totally pay you back later for babysitting the lot of them even though they’re dead and have been for centuries, yeah?

Indra and Ashura do not have access to Money but they also don’t know how to fix this and need somebody to look after a problem that’s technically their fault.

Might be a little “Ghost of Christmas Past” or whatever.

Kakuzu turns around and it's like Hi this is Indra and Ashura they're here to tell you that if you don't kill Uncle Zetsu for them they're going to keep your entire organization like this forever and also haunt you and no you can't leave

Just Coerce Kakuzu Into Killing Zetsu, It's Fine

(this was not the plan)

(Ashura and Indra are not acknowledging how completely sideways this entire situation has gone)

(WE TOTALLY MEANT TO DO THIS)

"Not only will doing this stop you personally from being annoyed, it'll incidentally save the entire world! On which you live! So there's two selfish motivations for you!"

Indra was probably just like drifting around to follow Itachi because Like Okay I Guess I Care About This Dude And Being Stuck Inside Sasuke's Soul Is Depressing

(Itachi's life is also depressing but like a DIFFERENT kind of depressing so at least he's less bored)

Ashura was following Indra because sometimes you Just Gotta Annoy Your Bro

Indra was complaining about how Itachi used to be So Cute And Innocent even if he was a creepy little fucker and the bros got spirit drunk and next thing you know all of Akatsuki is Baby. Not like Fully Baby, except Deidara

But like Baby

They planned none of this but they SURE ARE GOING TO PRETEND THEY DID Genius Ninja Ghosts who aren't making this up as they go along, no! What gave you that idea?! (Now we know where Naruto/Sasuke get it from)

Ashura: I got drunk and did something ridiculous and TBH it was Indra's fault for leaving me unsupervised Indra: I TURNED AROUND FOR TWO MINUTES Ashura: And if you'd paid any attention to what Hashirama and Naruto were like, or what I myself was like as a child, you'd have noticed that-- Indra: WE'VE BEEN DEAD FOR A THOUSAND YEARS HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE THIS

Nagato just goes to Kakuzu like "I am seeing the long-dead. They claim to have caused this entire mess and also that the only way to end the torture is to kill Zetsu." "W-what." "One of them says he was part of Hashirama and can prove it if you need him to. He remembers exactly how you tried to kill him." "What."

Nagato: I see dead people Kakuzu: I'm too old for this shit.

Also Kakuzu: Okay. Okay I can do this. I can kill the plant bastard. How much are you paying me? Ashura: ..... what do you mean how much?! Kakuzu: I don't work for free. Period. Ashura: [starts to moralize at him about the fate of the world] Kakuzu: You don't get it. How Much Indra: [phases under the couch] Ten ryou? Kakuzu: .... that and fix the idiots and you've got yourself a hired killer. Ashura: !?!??

Alternately Indra: I can tell you where to find ancient treasures that a Daimyo might pay out the nose for?

But I like the idea that he's so desperate to fix the others and also kind of does want to save the world since he lives on it, but it's a matter of principle. No Free Work, Ever. And yes that is a hill he is prepared to die on, it's probably the only hill he's prepared to die on

Kakuzu, day one: Killing Zetsu should be easy. Kakuzu, week three: Nagato, I need you to tell these dead people to go fuck themselves, this is impossible

He ends up tallying up all the Zetsus he kills as individual completions of the contract. At ten ryou a piece he estimates that he's going to crack at least a few hundred k off of this job. It's the only thing that keeps him going.

Single Dad Kakuzu Attempting To Assassinate Some Black Goop

Kakuzu: Okay what if I just blow up the entire continent, that'll probably get them all....? Wait fuck, I can't do that, all my investments are on this continent. I need to look into funding some mercantile efforts to find a new continent so I can diversify in case of situations like this in the future.

Indra: I will give you an extra five ryou if you blow up the Gedou Mazou statue. Kakuzu: Then you shouldn't have turned Deidara into a literal infant.

Indra: I will give you an extra ten ryou if you find some way to destroy it anyway. Ashura: I could revert Deidara early? Indra, sotto voce: Have you even figured out how to do that yet? Ashura: Uh. No. I have not.

They are very lucky that Nagato is translating for them.

(A fun possible ending for this scenario is that Kakuzu somehow does manage to kill Zetsu, by subcontracting out the hit to a few additional people (The Heroes Team and works alongside them) and then presents them a bill for several million yen and reverted teammates. Which they then have to admit to being unable to pay.) (Kakuzu now has to figure out if it is possible to kill immortal reincarnating ghosts, because if it is, he's gonna.)

Ashura: I will TOTALLY turn your friends back into adults if you do this for us. Ashura, five minutes later: Indra, help me figure out how to turn these jerks back into Adults.

Sasuke and co. show up to kill Itachi and Kakuzu is just like Great! You're babysitting.

Sasuke: Wait wh-- Kakuzu: You're not getting paid because you broke the door so instead of charging you for repairs, you can watch over your brother. Sasuke: Why would I--WHY IS ITACHI FIVE

Kakuzu becomes Everyone's Annoying Uncle completely by accident.

Because he's determined not to kill any of these people until or unless he figures out how to get paid for this shit, and if either of the two brats (Naruto and Sasuke) dies he'll have no lead at all on how to find the current incarnation of the Ghost Bastards who Stiffed Him.

Juugo: I can't do this. Kisame: Why not? Kids are easy to-- Juugo: I literally cannot do this I will end up accidentally killing a child please lock me up in one of your bijuu-proof rooms I cannot emphasize how necessary this is if you want these babies to survive.

Speaking of Kisame and Juugo: Juugo: I absorb chakra and when I get too full I berserk. Kisame: Oh, is that all? Here pet my sword for a while. Juugo: ...what Kisame: It's a bit pointy but it likes to be stroked, and it'll eat your excess.

It's just a very pointy cat to Juugo.

Suigetsu: Hey, I wanted to collect the swords. Juugo: [is literally cuddling Samehada] Suigetsu: Give me the pointy cat

Juugo ends up being the best babysitter, so long as he gets to swordsit too.

Suigetsu babysitting is that one photo of Chris Hemsworth playing with his kids on the beach and just like. Holding out a toddler by the ankle.

Sasuke is the RDJ kind of childcare like once he parses that this is Baby Itachi Who Has Done Nothing Wrong Ever he's just like Panic Cuddling Nobody Touch Itachi

"Weren't you trying to kill him like five days ago." "SHUT UP HE CAN'T KNOW THAT"

Karin finds Nagato and is just like "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit I think we're related maybe?" He's a teenager probably

Someone wants to seduce Sasori. I'm not sure who. First instinct is Yahiko but he is tragically in love with Konan still.

That said, Suigetsu is very gay and made of bad decisions, so that’s honestly plausible, so long as he doesn’t succeed.

I can see a few people wanting to seduce Sasori, but I honestly feel like his response to all of that would be “ew.” Honestly his response in this specific context is "Get out of my room the noise is giving me a headache"

The only acceptable Noises are "plans to fix this mess" and "Deidara is literally incapable of self-care and has to baby-cry for things like food and nappies." He probably has noise-sensitivity to the sound of his own blood moving around his body, at least for a while.

"I wish Itachi remembered adulthood so he could just cast a genjutsu on Sasori to cut off like 95% of sensation, this would be SO MUCH EASIER if he could."

If Sasori's alive then is Tobi even like. Known to the rest of the organization.

I'm already ignoring canon in favor of "asshole roommates" fanon so It truly Does Not Matter

It's the crack version of Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Like, if someone comes into a story like this expecting Detailed Canon Parallels and Thoroughly Articulated Plot Points Justifying Every Deviation then I don't know what to tell them when they're disappointed

Ashura, repeatedly poking Nagato: Hey hey I need you to do a thing hey Nagato hey buddy dude pal hey hey hey my boy hey Nagato: WHAT Ashura: Can you tell Obito that The Incident with the Sanbi was Zetsu and Madara's fault? Nagato: What incident? Ashura: I can't tell you because if he knows it happened at all then he's gonna go nuts and start killing people, maybe. Nagato: What.

Indra: Madara and Zetsu-ji killed the girl Obito was in love with and Obito went insane and became a supervillain as a result Nagato: What the fuck

Indra: I mean, to be fair, they did the same thing to you? Kind of? Just your best friend instead of your romantic-- Nagato: WHAT THE FUCK

[aion-rsa]

Fast and Furious Timeline Explained (Including F9)

https://ift.tt/35RIciY

When the Fast and Furious franchise started in 2001, it’s doubtful anyone working on it expected they were launching a mythology so trenchant it’d still be going 20 years later in a film with the words “Fast Saga” in its full title. But here we are on the opening weekend of F9: The Fast Saga, and the series is so beloved it’s expected to resurrect the theatergoing box office once more. And you know? Thank goodness, mi familia.

Sometimes there’s nothing nicer than spending your summer situated around a grill with a couple of cold ones, reminiscing about old times with loved ones. And if we ever spent a full day at one of the Toretto clan’s barbecues, we’d likely hear a lot more exciting tales that begin with “remember that time…” After all, what other family can talk about that time they stole a literal vault out of Rio de Janeiro? Or that other time Luke Hobbs caught a torpedo with his bare hands; and Trej and Roman over there, they launched a Pontiac into space! With them in it!

There have been some crazy times with this group. Hence we’ve created this handy-dandy timeline for those who are struggling to remember when and where things went down…

* Editor’s Note: After Fast & Furious (2009), the franchise gets intentionally vague and fuzzy about the time and years between events, so exact dates are left somewhat up to interpretation.

1989

Dominic and Jakob Toretto work as mechanics on their father Jack Toretto’s professional stock car. During the last race of the season, Jack asks Jakob to help him throw the race, but Jack is killed in the sabotaged accident. Dom thinks Jakob murdered their father. (F9)

Dom beats another pro driver named Kenny Linder near to death with a wrench, as he is at least partially responsible for the carnage of Jack’s crash. Dom is sentenced to prison for five years. (The Fast and the Furious, F9)

1991

Dominic Toretto is released from prison after two years. The first thing he does when he gets out is challenge Jakob to a street race. If Dom wins, Jakob will leave Los Angeles and never return. He’ll also shut off all communication with Dom and their sister Mia. Jakob loses. (F9)

2001

Dominic Toretto alongside his ride or die lover, Letty Ortiz, and childhood friend Vince form an illegal crew of big rig hijackers, stealing DVD players and digital cameras. (The Fast and the Furious)

Brian O’Conner volunteers to go undercover for the LAPD and FBI, infiltrating Toretto’s crew and the world of illegal street racing. But he soon comes to idolize Dom and fall in love with his little sister, Mia Toretto. Brian ultimately helps Dom escape the Feds. (The Fast and the Furious)

2002

Gifted Asian American student Han Lue graduates rom petty crimes to participating with his cousin and two other friends in a cheat sheet racket at their prestigious high school. The group makes a small fortune, but after things get out of hand, they wind up murdering another student. Han’s cousin who helped in the deed kills himself, and a mourning Han drifts further into the underworld. (Better Luck Tomorrow)

2003

Years after fleeing California and prosecution, Brian winds up in Miami where he’s still a hotshot street racer who hangs with his mechanic buddy Tej Parker. After their operation is pinched, Brian is given an offer by the FBI to go undercover again and root out a violent Argentinian drug cartel operating out of Miami. He does so alongside childhood pal Roman Pearce. (2 Fast 2 Furious)

2005

Dom and Letty are secretly married while living as fugitives outside the U.S. (Furious 7)

2006

Dom Toretto now runs a hijacking crew out of the Dominican Republic, alongside Letty and new bestie Han Lue. After a near death experience, they disband. Han says he’ll go to Tokyo, and Dom leaves Letty behind. (Fast & Furious)

Letty goes to Brian O’Conner, who is now an FBI agent. She attempts to clear her and Dom’s records by infiltrating a Mexican drug cartel run by Arturo Braga. Unfortunately, Arturo figures out Letty’s deception and runs her off the road, blowing up her car, which leads everyone to think she died (including Brian and Dom). In truth, she was saved from the wreckage by Gisele Yashar, a secret CIA operative who also infiltrated the Braga cartel. She takes Letty to the hospital. (Fast & Furious, Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7)

At the hospital, Letty awakens with amnesia and is recruited into a crew run by Owen Shaw, who has power over the Braga organization. (Fast & Furious 6)

2007

Dom returns to Los Angeles with Mia to avenge Letty’s apparent murder. He buries the hatchet with Brian as they destroy Braga’s cartel. Dom is supposed to have his name cleared in the process, but the FBI betrays him and he’s sentenced to 25 years in prison. Brian and Mia hijack Dom’s prison transport, freeing him and becoming fugitives themselves. (Fast & Furious)

After freeing Dom, the trio flee to Rio Janeiro where they hope to stay incognito. Old friend Vince recruits them for a job to steal three cars, but mid-mission the threesome learn they’re stealing from the DEA, including a vehicle with a computer chip that details the financials of a Brazilian crime lord. (Fast Five)

Dom and Brian recruit an international crew to steal $100 million from the crime lord, including Roman Pearce, Trej Parker, Han Jue, and Gisele Yashar. The Family is reborn. Brian and Mia also learn they’re pregnant. The crew ultimately steals the money and even gains assistance from ruthless DSS agent Luke Hobbs after the super-cop’s team is murdered by local gangsters. (Fast Five)

Hobbs discovers Letty is still alive. (Fast Five)

2008

Brian and Mia give birth to their son Jack. (Fast & Furious 6)

Hobbs tracks Dom down, discovering Dom is now in a serious relationship with Hobbs’ former Brazilian liaison, Elena Neves. Dom is told Letty is alive and working for British criminal mastermind Owen Shaw. (Fast & Furious 6)

Dom and the Family are able to rescue Letty from her manipulative boss, even though she still doesn’t remember who she is. Dom leaves Elena for her. In the fight to save Letty, Gisele is killed and Owen is left in a coma. Han, who was dating Gisele, decides to go to Tokyo. (Fast & Furious 6)

Elena discovers she is pregnant with Dom’s child and decides not to tell him. (The Fate of the Furious)

2009

Elena gives birth to Dom’s son, whom Don is unaware of. (The Fate of the Furious)

Han is recruited by CIA mystery man Mr. Nobody, who reveals Gisele was a CIA agent the whole time. Han picks up where Gisele left off, ultimately saving an orphaned Japanese child named Elle, whose parents encrypted her blood with the key codes to a doomsday device called Ares. (F9)

Han continues illegal street racing in Tokyo where “drifting” is what the cool kids do. He even takes American teenager Sean Boswell under his wing after Sean is banished by his mother to live in Japan with his Army father. Han teaches Sean to drift. (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift)

Deckard Shaw, Owen Shaw’s older brother, breaks into Owen’s hospital and, after killing his doctors, promises to avenge little bro by getting the Toretto family! He begins by nearly killing Luke Hobbs and Elena, who is now working full-time with the big guy. (Furious 7)

Dom takes Letty to Race Wars in order to jog her memory. She gets fragments back but decides the old Letty is dead and drives off, leaving Dom. (Furious 7)

Dom returns to his family home in Los Angeles where Mia tells him that she and Brian are expecting their second child and she’s afraid to tell him because he’s addicted to an adventurous lifestyle. Dom agrees to talk to Brian. Only then does he receive an ominous phone call about… (Furious 7)

… How during Sean and Han’s exploits ,they offend the Yakuza. This leads to Sean and Han being chased by gangsters. In the chaos, Han is T-boned and seemingly killed in an explosion. The other driver is Deckard Shaw, who is here to kill Han in order to send Dom Toretto a message: he’s coming for the Family. He calls Dom to taunt him as he thinks Han burns. But in a twist on a twist, it turns out Han and Mr. Nobody knew Deckard was coming and used this as an opportunity to fake Han’s death so as to better protect Elle! (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7, F9)

After receiving Deckard’s phone call, a letter bomb goes off in the Toretto family home, nearly killing Dom and Mia. Dom and the Family are recruited by CIA weirdo Mr. Nobody into stopping Deckard from obtaining an all-powerful MacGuffin. Nobody gives them unlimited resources and also brings Letty back into the fold. She inexplicably gets her memories back after remembering she and Dom were secretly married. (Furious 7)

Sean ultimately becomes the Drift King of Tokyo (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift)

The heroes save hacker Ramsey from Deckard and she joins the Family. Together they stop Deckard by causing a parking garage to literally fall on his head. Shaw goes to prison, and Dom and Letty get back together. Brian agrees to retire for the sake of his two kids but not before one last angelic ride along next to Dom. (Furious 7)

Read more

Movies

Hollywood Execs Are Crediting Fast and Furious with Growing Embrace of Diversity

By David Crow

Movies

F9 Ending Is a Game Changer

By David Crow

2010

Dom and Letty’s overdue Cuban honeymoon is interrupted when Dom is blackmailed into working for evil genius terrorist Cipher. It turns out Cipher has kidnapped Elena and their still-an-infant son to coerce Dom into being her wheelman. (The Fate of the Furious)

Luke Hobbs approaches the family to do an illegal mission, but in the getaway Dom betrays them at Cipher’s behest, leading Luke Hobbs to be disgraced and sent to prison. He gets a cell right next to Deckard Shaw, and the two develop a frenemy banter. They’re freed by Mr. Nobody to help the CIA track Cipher. (The Fate of the Furious)

Cipher kills Elena after she lets Dom name their son (many months after his birth) Brian. During a mission to steal a nuclear submarine, Dom is freed from Cipher’s control after Deckard hijacks Cipher’s plane and saves wee little baby Brian. Dom helps the Family stop the nuclear sub. Deckard Shaw becomes part of the Family while Dom and Letty adopt baby Brian. (The Fate of the Furious)

2012

The CIA pressures Hobbs and Shaw to join forces after MI6 agent Hattie Shaw, Deckard and Owen’s little sister, is targeted by cyber-enhanced super soldiers who want the superpower-giving virus she’s hidden in her bloodstream. Hobbs and Shaw reluctantly work together, save Hattie, and ultimately travel to Hobbs’ family home in Samoa. (Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs And Shaw)

2013

Sean and buddies Twinkie and Earl Hu begin experimenting with a Pontiac Fiero that they’ll attach a rocket to with the aim of one day shooting it into space. (F9)

2014

Dom is living peacefully with Letty and his three or four-year-old son when he’s told Cipher has resurfaced and shot down Mr. Nobody’s plane. He reluctantly joins the Family to try and rescue Mr. Nobody, and they discover Dom’s long lost little brother, Jakob (now big and swole), is involved after going rogue as a secret agent. (F9)

Letty and Mia go to Tokyo to find out what Jakob is after and discover Han is alive, reuniting him, plus his ward Elle, with the Family. (F9)

Trej and Roman work with Sean and friends on the Fiero, eventually “driving” it into space to stop Jakob (and later Cipher) from essentially taking over the world. Jakob helps Dom stop Cipher and is pseudo-redeemed. (F9)

Back from the dead, Han decides to confront Deckard Shaw… (F9)

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The post Fast and Furious Timeline Explained (Including F9) appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jimDjm

[greycappedjester]

HI IM OBSESSED WITH ALL YOUR HAIKYUU STORIES I LITERALLY LOVE THEM ALL YOUR CHARACTERIATION AND STORY WRITING AND STYLE IS SO AWESOME AND PLEASING TO READ I FEEL SO MANY EMOTIONS WHILE READING and because i am in love with him, i wanted ot ask if you have any random headcanons about hinata and his random friendships with people? it can be any characters or comething i just always love hinata content. i also especially liked him and hoshi friendship in hogwarts and how kagehnas understood ech oth

Thank you so, so much :)

Sorry this one's taken a bit to answer; but, I am soooooo glad you like the series and the characterizations and just, ahhh, thank you so much!

So, random friendship headcanons we go....

Hinata and Aone:

-So, Aone is one of the current Prefects where he's amazing and everybody loves him. But, earlier than that and back in first year when Hinata was trying to figure him out a bit because "wow, he's huge and kind of scary but he plays Quidditch so he has to be cool and he's a Hufflepfuff so that's probably good but he also kinda looks like he wants to murder me but maybe he means that in a good way". Anyway, Hinata had a habit of getting lost on his way to Quidditch practice and weirdly almost always ending up next to bathrooms. Until one day, he came back to his room and found a carefully drawn little map with a lot of the major hallways detailed on it. It didn't have a name but, months later, he recognized it as Aone's handwriting and it was one of the kindest things that had ever happened to Hinata at that point. After that, they had an unspoken bond and Hinata only got lost 83% of the time.

Kageyama, Yachi, and Kenma:

-I don't know if I've ever mentioned; but, I need these three as my socially anxious "oh, fuck, someone's talking to me ABORT ABORT how tf do I make small talk" friends. Sure, they all have vastly different responses (Kageyama: Yell at it or glare until it goes away; Yachi: Hide or maybe mutter anxiously; Kenma: grab nearest book and hope they go away) but every now and then they'll have a moment when Lev and Hinata are being particularly Extroverted (TM) when those three just look at each other and go "right, they're the crazy ones here" (No shade to all my extrovert friends, ya'll got Hinata and Lev over there being like "I think our friends need more company!!!!! :D" while the social anxiety trio hiss like angry cats in the corner)

Iwaizumi and Bokuto:

-Voted (in their friend group) "Most Likely to Go the Longest Without Getting Into Any Kind of Mortal Peril" for four years running. I honestly think that except for having the friends they do that the worst trouble Iwaizumi and Bokuto would ever get into would be Quidditch related. That said, I also think both of them would be bored out of their minds since all of them are some kind of brand of danger prone. However, on the days that Bokuto and Iwaizumi are left to their own devices, two things happen: (1) absolutely nothing and it's a peaceful day; (2) everyone comes back to the two in some strange competition--including arm wrestling (Winner: Iwaizumi), orgami (Winner: Bokuto), card stacking (Tie as they decided to work together to combine card stacks into the ultimate card castle....everyone was as disturbed as they were impressed). Idk how to describe it but in terms of energy Iwaizumi and Bokuto have the low-fi version of bro energy where it's equally strange but somehow nothing's on fire...like it would be for any of the other pairings

Daichi and Noya (or also the beginning of the Crows)

The story of how Daichi looked at those crazy Gryffindor first years and went "well, someone's gotta make sure they don't die": Daichi's second year was a strange one. He'd finally made it to the reserve Keeper on the Quidditch team and there was talk that he could take over next year while at the same time that batshit wild first year with the crazy hair turned out to be some kind of flying prodigy and was immediately made Seeker.

Who's a good person to keep an eye on him? "DAICHI," cheers the rest of the Quidditch team. "Wait, what," says Daichi who was late to the meeting. And, thus, Daichi became the father of one (soon two as he learned Tanaka and Noya were a package deal). "Well, at least I'm not doing this alone," said Daichi. "W-what do you mean," said Victim #2-also-named-Asahi.

And, thus X2, Noya and Tanaka (plus Ennoshita who was dragged along with), got two live-in babysitters...one more effective than the other since Asahi got an immediate crush and was completely unhelpful in actually stopping anything since he just kind of blushed and stuttered whenever Noya smiled at him.

Chaos reigned.

Noya and Tanaka friends with the centaurs, made beginning plans to ride the Giant Squid (didn't actually make friends with it until second year), and gave Daichi a lifelong fear of acromantula.

You see, our poor hero Daichi was very fed up and more than a little exhausted. But, at least he had Asahi. "They're really not that bad," Asahi insisted. "I gave Noya a Butterbeer earlier and he said--" Nevermind, Daichi was completely alone.

However, while Daichi debated the pros and cons of child abandonment, he happened to come across an unusual sight.

The sight was Noya, dirty and slightly bruised like he always seemed to be, but holding a small little thing in his hand that took Daichi more than a few seconds to realize what it was.

"Is that a bowtruckle?"

Noya grinned. "Yeah. Little guy fell out of his nest." He nodded up at a tree. "Took me forever to get him to come over. Bowtruckle's are skittish and don't trust people much."

Daichi blinked. "Aren't those nearly extinct and used for lockpicking."

"Yeah, probably why they don't trust people much."

Theoretically, Daichi knew that bowtruckles were incredibly, incredibly rare and that there was more than one magical creatures student that would cry just seeing one, let alone knowing there was a whole nest on campus.

...But, that would also mean that everyone else would know about it, too, and somehow Daichi didn't think that everyone else would handle the little creatures with the same care and patience that Noya did. Actually, come to think of it, Daichi wasn't sure that even he could. Funny enough, Daichi had never seen Noya actually quiet before.

In the end, Daichi helped Noya out with a good Levitation Charm and decided that maybe it wasn't that bad being a single parent at the ripe old age of twelve years old. At least he had some pretty good kids.

.....he has since vocally regretted that roughly 2,012 times and actually regretted it 0.

[letterboxd]

Savage Cinema.

From anarchists and adultery to milk baths and massacres, Matthew Turner shares five of the weirdest and wildest highlights of Hollywood’s pre-Code era, as #PreCodeApril comes to a close.

Pre-Code April was directly inspired by Noirvember, a month-long celebration of noir cinema instigated by Marya Gates (Oldfilmsflicker). I did Noirvember for the first time in November 2019, really enjoyed it, and thought it would be great to do the same thing for pre-Code movies. Although I’ve watched most of the classic 1930s films, I realised there were a huge number of pre-Code films I’d never seen (of my Letterboxd list of over 900 Pre-Code films, I have only seen 200).

As a sucker for a bit of wordplay, no matter how tenuous, I picked April partly because it’s six months away from Noirvember and partly because of the shared “pr” sound in April and Pre-Code. I’ve been absolutely delighted by the response—the #PreCodeApril hashtag on Twitter is a daily treasure trove of pre-Code-related joy, but I was genuinely thrilled to see the response on Letterboxd (here is my watchlist for the month). It’s been a real pleasure to see pre-Code movies constantly popping up in my ‘new from friends’ feed. My hope is that it’ll be even bigger next year—and that maybe TCM will want to get involved, the way they do with Noirvember.

Produced between 1929 and 1934, pre-Code cinema refers to films made in a brief period between the silent era, and Hollywood beginning to enforce the Motion Picture Production Code censorship guidelines (mandatory enforcement came in from July 1934). The “Code” in question was popularly known as the Hays Code, after then MPPDA president Will H. Hays. As the depression set in and box office declined, theater owners needed fare that would drive cinema-goers to the movies. It was a wild time to be a scriptwriter; they threw everything at the page, designers added even more, and actors played out the kinds of scenes, from the suggestive to the overt, that would otherwise be banned for decades to come.

The following five films demonstrate some of Hollywood’s craziest pre-Code excesses. They’re still jaw-dropping, even by today’s standards, and notably give female characters an agency that would be later denied as the Christian morals of the Code overruled writers’ kinks.

Madam Satan (1930) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Elsie Janis, Jeanie Macpherson and Gladys Unger

A critical and commercial flop in 1930, Cecil B. DeMille’s utterly insane musical comedy stars Kay Johnson as a straight-laced wife who plots to win back her unfaithful husband (Reginald Denny) by seducing him at a costume party, disguised as a mysterious devil woman. The location of this party? Oh, nothing too fancy, just on board a giant zeppelin. (“Madam Satan or: How the Film gets Fucking Crazy on the Blimp,” as Ryan reviewed it.)

Madam Satan is not by any stretch of the imagination a good movie (the editing alone is laughably bad), but as a piece of pre-Code craziness, it really has to be seen to be believed. Co-written by a trio of women and set in just three locations, it goes from racy bedroom farce to avant-garde musical to full-on disaster movie after a bolt of lightning hits the blimp.

The film is justly celebrated (in camp classic circles, at least) for the wildly over-the-top costumes paraded in the masquerade ball sequence, but there’s weird outfit joy everywhere you look. Keep an eye out for an enterprising extra who’s come dressed as a set of triplets.

Call Her Savage (1932) Directed by John Francis Dillon, written by Tiffany Thayer and Edwin J. Burke

Adapted from a salacious novel by Tiffany Thayer, Call Her Savage was former silent star Clara Bow’s second-to-last film before her retirement at the age of 28. She plays Texas gal Nasa Springer, who’s always had a “savage” temper she can’t explain. In the space of 88 minutes she goes from wild teenager to jilted newlywed to young mother to prostitute to wealthy society girl to alcoholic before finally (it’s implied) settling down with her Native-American friend after discovering that she’s half-Native-American, something the audience has known all along.

Bow’s performance is frankly astonishing, to the point where you simply can’t believe what you’re seeing from one moment to the next. Sample scenes see her savagely whipping both a snake and her Indian friend, smashing a guitar over a musician’s head and violently wrestling her Great Dane… and that’s all in the first five minutes. She’s also frequently in a state of near undress throughout—one funny scene has her maids chasing her with a dressing gown because they’re afraid she’ll run down the street in her négligée.

The rest of the film includes alcohol, adultery, strong violence, attempted rape, murder, syphilis (not named, but heavily implied) and baby death. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of outrageous content and Bow is pure dynamite throughout. The film is also noted for being one of the first on-screen portrayals of homosexuality, when Nasa visits a gay bar in the Village frequented by “wild poets and anarchists”.

Smarty (1934) Directed by Robert Florey, written by Carl Erickson and F. Hugh Herbert

This deeply problematic sex comedy features pre-Code stars Joan Blondell and Warren William (often nicknamed ‘The King of Pre-Code’) at their absolute filthiest. Blondell plays Vicki, a capricious, happily married wife who gets an obvious kick out of taunting her husband, Tony (William). When he cracks and slaps her at a party, she divorces him and marries her lawyer, Vernon (Edward Everett Horton), whom she also goads into slapping her in a deliberate ploy to win back Tony.

Essentially, Smarty hinges on Vicki liking rough sex and it’s completely blatant about it, ending with her sighing “Hit me again” (the film’s UK title!) as they sink into a clinch on a couch, a rapturous expression on her face. It’s a controversial film because on the surface it looks like it’s condoning domestic violence, but it’s very clearly about Vicki’s openly expressed sexual desires—she wants to be punished and dominated, she just has a rather dodgy way of getting what she wants.

It might be unsophisticated, but in some ways Smarty is remarkably ahead of its time and ripe for rediscovery. To that end, it would make a fascinating double bill with Stephen Shainberg’s Secretary (2002). Oh, and it’s also chock-full of lingerie scenes (like most pre-Code films), if you like that sort of thing.

Massacre (1934) Directed by Alan Crosland, written by Sheridan Gibney, Ralph Block and Robert Gessner

Several pre-Code films (notably those made by Warner Bros) took a no-punches-pulled approach to their depiction of social issues, and star Richard Barthelmess actively sought out such projects. Here he plays Joe Thunderhorse, a Native American who’s become famous on the rodeo circuit. When he returns to his tribe to bury his father, he ends up fighting for their rights, taking on corrupt government officials and religious authorities.

Massacre is fascinating because on the one hand it’s wildly insensitive—Barthelmess and co-star Ann Dvorak are both cast as Native Americans—but on the other, it burns with a righteous fury and does more than any other Hollywood film (before or since) to champion the rights and highlight the injustices dealt out to Native Americans. That fury is encapsulated in a horrifying and rightly upsetting rape scene (it happens off-screen, but the cuts leave you in no doubt) that the film handles with surprising sensitivity.

In addition to being a passionate fight against racism and social injustice, the film also has some genuinely shocking sexual content. Most notably, Joe is seen making love to a rich white woman (Claire Dodd, who’s also in Smarty) who has an obvious sexual fetish, flaunting him in front of her friends and making a shrine in her room with Native-American paraphernalia.

The Sign of the Cross (1932) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Waldemar Young and Sidney Buchman

Yes, this is Cecil B. DeMille again, but no list of weird and wild pre-Code films would be complete without the jaw-dropping ancient Rome epic, The Sign of the Cross. Adapted from an 1895 play by Wilson Barrett, it stars Frederic March as Marcus Superbus (stop sniggering at the back there), who’s torn between his loyalty to Emperor Nero (Charles Laughton) and his love for a Christian woman (Elissa Landi), while also fending off the advances of the Emperor’s wife, Poppaea (Claudette Colbert).

The film is racy enough in its sexual content alone: highlights include the famous scene of Claudette Colbert taking a nude milk bath and an erotic “lesbian” dance sequence, where Joyzelle Joyner’s “most wicked and talented woman in Rome” does ‘The Dance of the Naked Moon’ at Frederic March’s orgy, trying to tempt Landi’s virtuous Christian, to the obvious arousal of the gathered guests.

However, it’s the climactic gladiatorial-arena sequence that will leave your jaw on the floor. Lasting around twelve minutes, it includes: someone getting eaten by a tiger, a tied-up, naked women being approached by hungry crocodiles, pygmies getting chopped up by female barbarians, elephants stomping on heads, a gorilla approaching a naked woman tied to a stake, a man getting gored by a bull, and gladiators fighting to the death, complete with blood and gory injury detail.

The whole thing is genuinely horrifying, even for 2021. Best of all, DeMille pointedly critiques the audience (ourselves included), by showing a series of reaction shots ranging from intense enjoyment to abject seen-it-all-before boredom.

Matthew Turner (FilmFan1971) is a critic, author, podcaster and lifelong film fanatic. His favorite film is ‘Vertigo’. The films in this article are also listed here: Five of the Pre-Code Era’s Most Outrageous Films.

[teruthecreator]

Thinks about "You have influence on Fitzroy". Thinks about how Argo, with his voice sounding hollow and WAY to much like Grey's for comfort convincing the group not to look to the Heroic Oversight Guild for help. Thinks About It.

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

bro i talked about this but i genuinely think grey is trying this tactic because he wants to start dissent within the trio. because like, okay. if we look at the plot of graduation in the perspective of argo, not a lot of things have gone....well for him. 

he started out almost immediately ignored by his peers/students in favor of fitzroy “knight who isn’t a knight with immense power” maplecourt and the firbolg (who is a race no one is Used to seeing in an educational setting and also has a pretty hidden history). then he finds out his mother was in a secret organization and joins it, only to immediately be thrown into the task of digging into the private life of his Roommate (which doesn’t bode well for interpersonal relationships). then he sees fitzroy and the firbolg just....ignoring him. and fitzroy explicitly doesn’t trust him. then he finds out all the demon shit, then they go on a mission and he watches his friend Get Cursed and probably feels pretty incompetent because he literally can’t do Anything about fitzroy dying. 

AND THENNN after fighting demons they get Back to the school only to be thrown into a trial because argo decided he wanted to Trust The People He Cares About and gets thrown into a trial with OH YEAH THE MAN WHO MURDERED HIS MOTHER AND JUST SLUNG A BUNCH OF SLURS AT HIM HOO HELLO. then he gets Some revenge that is immediately squashed by UH OH HELL TIME AND PSYCHIC TRAUMA DELIVERED. AND THENNNNN when all that’s said and done he has to go rescue a friend who he isn’t even sure IS his friend from The Undying Lord, only after feeling a little useless in not being able to help firbolg. and THEN he fights DEMON DOGS but still is unsure of his relationship enough for clint to question “are they Really friends like that?” 

argo is....unsure of a lot. i think he is unsure of himself, the most, but he’s almost as equally as unsure of his place in the world. for years, he thought his purpose was to enact revenge on the commodore for his mother. but now that that purpose is basically dashed, he’s sort of scrambling for the next step. and he’s pretty alone in all of this! he’s used to feeling like a unit on a ship, but that unit was disbanded after his mother’s passing, and now he’s scrambling to find that sense of unity and purpose he once had. he’s hurt--hurting, for that matter, and no one can see it. so yeah, he’s actually the greatest target for this kind of manipulation. 

argo doesn’t realize how important he is to the group because he doesn’t feel important to himself, to the point where chaos’ words basically go in one ear and out the other. but grey Sees this imbalance--especially after tapping into his brain, no doubt--and he is going to Take Advantage Of That. 

the reason argo is feeling this jealousy is because grey is putting it there. he’s taking all of those deep, dark, hidden doubts argo has and forcing them to the forefront. he’s forcing these ideas of displacement into argo’s mind so he can see his world in a negative light. not only that, YEAH HE’S BEING POSSESSED IN THAT FIRST SCENE. i think it’s because he’s so vulnerable in that moment, especially after reliving the pain of hell, that grey can stand in with ease. 

don’t be surprised if we get some more dream sequences that read as trippy nightmares where everyone abandons argo. grey is driving a wedge between the inseparable bond of the thundermen (specifically fitzroy and argo, who seem to have a deeper bond that fitzroy has alluded to now in This Episode) by making argo question fitzroy’s position as leader. he is being beat over the head with the emotions bat and i am Here For It.